The Half-Assed Wizard by Gary Jonas

Posted April 2, 2018 by Jay Magidson in Reviews / 0 Comments

The Half-Assed Wizard by Gary JonasThe Half-Assed Wizard by Gary Jonas
Narrator: Joe Hempel
Series: Half-Assed Wizard #1
Published by Self Published / Indie on 11 September 2017
Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
Genres: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy
Format: Audiobook
Rating Report
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Overall: One StarOne StarOne StarOne StarHalf a Star

A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back.

The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information?

Magic was never my scene, but my dad is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen.

They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.

©2017 Gary Jonas (P)2017 Gary Jonas

ABR received this audiobook for free from the in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect our opinion of the audiobook or the content of our review.

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Brett Masters is the son of one of the world’s greatest wizards.  Magic runs through his veins, and he should be as good, if not more powerful than his father.  Only problem is, he’s really lazy, and would much rather sleep until noon, play guitar with a magic pick and generally drink and smoke his way through life.  When a pack of ancient tarot cards arrives at his house, his whole easy life is turned upside down.  It seems everyone wants them and will use any means to get them.

Sabrina, Bretts magically skilled cousin, comes to help, but he’s having none of, still doing everything he can to retain his easy life, graciously provided by his dad’s monthly allowance.  But the villains keep coming, ever more powerful, and  Brett’s just going to have to do something resembling magic to keep them off, well maybe after a nap.

This tongue-in-cheek novel is a lot of fun.  Brett is all about sex, drugs and rock and roll and skating through life.  It’s full of colorful characters and magic objects that highlight the ridiculous nature of Brett’s world.  It’s a fun poke at Harry Potter and similar stories.

The story is performed by Joe Hempel who does a great job as the voice of Brett describing his own story.  All the character voices are good and easily discernible.  A great job by a pro.  The production quality is excellent too, as you would expect.

The Half-Assed Wizard is a light-hearted romp through the magically ridiculous.  It doesn’t take itself seriously, even making fun of its own plot.  “All this for a pack of tarot cards?”  It is book one in a series of unknown length, but still a complete novel that wraps up fully.  Future volumes are likely to involve the further adventures of the half-assed wizard and his colorful friends.  If you enjoy your fantasy/magic/wizard stories with a good helping of humor, you should give this one a listen.

About Joe Hempel

Read the ABR narrator interview

Well, there’s not much to say. I’m a full time TV Engineer who loves reading, working out (I’m an NASM certified personal trainer), video games, and wrestling (worked for 10 years in the business).

I’m also a step dad to two girls (5 and 8) and a dad to one boy (7) who’s got cerebral palsy.

After operating for around 3 years I shut it down to focus on learning how to narrate.

About Gary Jonas

Gary Jonas writes books from a secret farmhouse location somewhere in Oklahoma. Oddly enough, he doesn’t even know the address, which is probably why it’s a secret. Good thing he knows how to get there, though. He has never worked for the CIA and the rumors about him working for the Bilderberg Group are total hogwash. Really.

As for the books, let’s start with the Jonathan Shade urban fantasy series. Shade is a private investigator who handles cases dealing with magic and the paranormal. He has a magically engineered assassin named Kelly Chan who keeps him alive, and a ghost secretary named Esther from the 1920s flapper era who loves him and helps with his cases.

About Jay Magidson

Lover of books, Sci-Fi, 19th Century literature, young adult, and more, as long as it's good, I'll read or listen. I'm a writer as well, my weekly art column was published for years in the Aspen Daily News, Roaring Fork Sunday and Aspen Sojourner Magazine. I have 5 books in print, all pretty entertaining if you'd like to check them out. And my Sci-Fi novel, "Threshold of the Mind" was recently produced into an audiobook, read by award winning actor: Jeff Clarke (Chicago, Mad Men).

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